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江边观景

书写零零散散的日子。

 
 
 

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别了,我生命中的过客  

2008-06-19 17:17:21|  分类: 美文翻译 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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When he told me he was leaving I felt like a vase which has just smashed. There were pieces of me all over the

 tidy, tan tiles. He kept talking, telling me why he was leaving, explaining it was for the best, I could do better, it

 was his fault and not mine. I had heard it before many times and yet somehow was still not immune; perhaps

one did not become immune to such felony.

   当他告诉我他要离我而去的那一刻,我的心仿佛一个花瓶"砰"地一声碎了,碎片散落在茶色瓷砖地板上,满地都是.他不停地说着,告诉我他之所以要离开的原因,解释说他的离开是最好的选择, 我可以干得更好, 还说这一切都是他的错,跟我无关.这话我以前也听他说过很多次,但不知道怎么搞的我还是接受不了,或许在这样的打击下没有一个人能够受得了.

  He left and I tried to get on with my life. I filled the kettle and put it on to boil, I took out my old red mug and

 filled it with coffee watching as each coffee granule slipped in to the bone china. That was what my life had

been like, endless omissions of coffee granules, somehow never managing to make that cup of coffee.

  他走了.我尽力回到我自己的生活中. 我把壶灌满水放上去烧开水,然后拿出那个红色的旧茶缸往里边倒咖啡,边倒边看着每一粒咖啡滑进茶缸里的骨灰瓷上.我正是我过去生活的写照:不断地往下掉咖啡末,但从来没沏好一杯咖啡.

  Somehow when the kettle piped its finishing warning I pretended not to hear it. That's what Mike's leaving

 had been like, sudden and with an awful finality. I would rather just wallow in uncertainty than have things

 finished. I laughed at myself. Imagine getting all philosophical and sentimental about a mug of coffee. I must

be getting old.

  水壶的报警器响了,水开了,我假装没听见.Mike是离去也和这一样,突如其来且无可挽回.我宁愿沉浸于分与不分的痛苦中也不愿意象这样一刀两断.想着想着,我哑然失笑,我怎么会因为一杯咖啡而生出这许多的哲学思考和儿女情长呢,我一定是老了.

  And yet it was a young woman who stared back at me from the mirror. A young woman full of promise and

hope, a young woman with bright eyes and full lips just waiting to take on the world. I never loved Mike anyway.

 Besides there are more important things. More important than love, I insist to myself firmly. The lid goes back

on the coffee just like closure on the whole Mike experience.

  而镜子里分明是一个年轻的女子啊!她满怀着前途和希望, 她明目皓齿,正是有所作为的好年华. 我坚定地对自己说:"没关系,反正我从没爱过Mike,况且,我还有更重要的事情要做,比爱更重要的事情!"我把咖啡罐的盖子盖好,也把和Mike交往的这段经历尘封起来.

  He doesn't haunt my dreams as I feared that night. Instead I am flying far across fields and woods, looking

down on those below me. Suddenly I fall to the ground and it is only when I wake up that I realize I was shot by

a hunter, brought down by the burden of not the bullet but the soul of the man who shot it. I realize later, with

some degree of understanding, that Mike was the hunter holding me down and I am the bird that longs to fly.

The next night my dream is similar to the previous nights, but without the hunter. I fly free until I meet another

bird who flies with me in perfect harmony. I realize with some relief that there is a bird out there for me, there is

another person, not necessarily a lover perhaps just a friend, but there is someone out there who is my

soul mate. I think about being a broken vase again and realize that I have glued myself back together, what

Mike has is merely a little part of my time in earth, a little understanding of my physical being. He has only, a

little piece of me.

  那天晚上,出乎意料的是,他并没有入到我的梦中。在梦里,我飞过田野和森林,俯瞰着大地。突然间,我掉了下来……醒来后才发现原来自己被猎人打中了,但是令我坠落的不是他的子弹,而是他的灵魂。我后来才渐渐明白,原来Mike就是那个使我坠落的猎人,而我是那只渴望飞翔的小鸟。到了第二天晚上,我仍然做了类似的梦,但是猎人不见了,我一直在自由地飞翔,直到遇上另外一只小鸟和我比翼双飞。我开始意识到,总有那么一只鸟,那么一个人在前面等我,这个人可能是我的爱人,可能只是朋友,但一定是知我懂我的人,这令我感觉如释重负。我想起曾经觉得自己像花瓶一样裂开了,才意识到原来自己已经把自己修理好了。Mike只是我生命过程中的小小过客,他仅仅了解我的表面,他仅仅是我生命中的小小一部分。

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